Hurricane Quenelle has been Cancelled

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By Ariadna Theokopoulos

Attention people of Réunion, Comores, Maurice, Madagascar and Zimbabwe: Hurricane Quenelle, scheduled for the 2014-2015 hurricane season has been cancelled!

It will not be permitted to do its thing under this name, but only following a rebaptizing and the acquisition of a name that is not offensive to Jewish sensitivities.

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Islam Must Be Reformed!

By Ariadna Theokopoulos

Transcript of the Address to the Select Committee of (redacted) by (redacted).

Mr. President, Mr. Treasurer and Esteemed Colleagues,

I stand before you not as an executive but as a colleague willing to speak frankly. Mistakes have been made that must be acknowledged and confusion seems to have slowed our progress, which must be eliminated if we are to pick up the pace in our mission to make the world a better, safer place.

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